2/23/09

Another boring day. It's probably good we don't have cable because KD would probably be addicted to daytime TV by now. As it is, he totally fixated on Dexter ... someone gave him the first two seasons on DVD and it's been non-stop. He just finished the last episode tonight and is completely lost without it. And of course he thinks about serial killers all the time too (Google the TV show if you want to know what I'm talking about :-)

Tomorrow (Tuesday) is another all-day trip to Shands. He has a Vincristine IV drip again and of course a shot of L-Asparaginase (yay! I think I've finally learned how to spell it!). Also he's been kind of tired and droopy for a few days, so they'll probably want to give him blood or something. 

Even though KD is facing this challenge with a great attitude, I don't want anyone to think that this is easy for him. Every day at the hospital clinic he sees people who are in the same situation he is in. Some of them aren't doing so well. Some are being taken back to sterile in-patient rooms and being put back on serious care. Some are suffering emotionally from the threat of this great scary thing taking over their bodies. Some are also on their last stretch of care and soon will be declared cancer-free. 

But there's no guarantee for him. It's all statistics right now. They say 80% chance of full remission. So in the back of the room where we pretend it doesn't exist, a little voice says that there's still a 20% chance of maybe not such a good outcome. As cheerful as he is, there's always going to be that little voice, which is so much louder than a shout.

I have a good quote to share first: "The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured."

We rarely value the ability to endure hardships, but it is a necessary skill both physical and spiritual. It is a strength of character that isn't about a your ability to conquer something outside of yourself. It is about being stronger than the things inside of yourself ... fear, anger, jealousy, ego, lust, pride.

Before I commit myself to get even more preachy, I'll just say that as the person who has been there for the terrible moments, and has been there for the lows of spirit, and has been there for the long dull hours of waiting ... I can say he has not wavered from his decision to endure this process with grace and acceptance. And laughter.